You’ll be surprised at just how many of our engagement ring shoppers choose the wrong diamond ring for their partners. They shop, thinking they know what their partner wants, and come back after the big proposal with a request to have the ring changed; we have a 30-day ‘no questions asked return policy for this.
“The Return Policy by Brillianteers SAVED ME! My fiance was not happy with the ring I bought her, and it was obvious (despite her attempt to pretend that she liked it). It was such an easy process having the design changed. I just emailed them and we had the new ring within a week of shipping the old one back. Their return policy was a lifesaver. I wouldn’t have been able to afford a new ring otherwise.”
– Josh 2021
Do you choose or do you let your partner choose the diamond ring? This is the biggest question most soon-to-be fiances are worried about. You’ll be spending a good amount of money on your diamond ring, and you don’t want to make the mistake of getting the wrong design. But it’s also tradition to keep the marriage proposal a big surprise. The dilemma is whether or not you should be keeping everything a secret, or if it’s the better choice to have her choose her own engagement ring.
There are so many factors to consider when shopping for an engagement ring, but the choice of design is one that you might be struggling with.
- Do you get her the ring YOU want?
- Do you get her the ring SHE wants?
- Do you let her choose her own engagement ring?
- Should you choose a simple design or a more expensive one?
We can help you navigate through the process of choosing your engagement ring and whether or not you should let your partner choose her own diamond ring design.
Who Should Choose the Engagement Ring?
The first thing to consider if you want the right answer to this question is what your partner would actually prefer. Would your partner be happier with their own personal choice, or do you think you can choose the ring for her?
When to Let HER Choose Her Own Engagement Ring:
- If She Has a Particular Preference for Her Personal Style – Does your partner have a specific fashion style that she invests a lot of her time and money in? If so, she’s most likely very meticulous with what type of clothing she wears, how they fit, and what works well for their personal style. This is a good indication that she also will have a lot of preferences on the type of rind design she wants.
- If She Wears Jewelry every day – Does your partner wear jewelry on a regular basis? This means that she has a particular choice of jewelry style that she prefers. It can be bold and colorful, or (for the more common trend) minimal looks. It may be best to let her choose the type of ring design she wants that will work with the jewelry she wears.
- If She has a lifestyle or job that requires a specific design – The choice of an engagement ring design may also depend on her day-to-day lifestyle. For example, if she works with her hands; for example, as a chef, fashion designer, or in construction, she might prefer a ring that’s simple and easy to clean and wear every day.
- If it is Uncommon for you to shop for her – Look back at your past gift-giving holidays and birthdays. Do you usually shop for her and choose her gifts on your own? Or do you wait for hints from her of what she wants? If it’s the latter, then she might also prefer to choose her own engagement ring.
When YOU can Choose Her Engagement Ring:
- If you’ve successfully chosen gifts she loved in the past – If you have successfully bought her gifts in the past that she was completely happy with, there’s a good chance that you’ll also make the right choice regarding the ring.
- If you both have a similar sense of style – Do you both shop in similar stores or have a similar preference in fashion? This is a good indicator that you will make the right engagement ring design choice for your partner.
- If you want to make sure the marriage proposal is a big surprise – If you are adamant to surprise her with the big proposal, it’s better to choose the engagement ring yourself.
- If you know exactly what ring you want to give her – If you’ve done your engagement ring research and have spotted a specific design that you want to give her, one that you are positive is the design you want her to receive, you should follow your instinct.
What if she doesn’t like the ring I chose for her?
Before you buy an engagement ring, we recommend that you choose a jewelry shop or designer that offers a return policy. This will guarantee that in the event that she isn’t happy with the design, you’ll have the opportunity to return or exchange the ring.
If you’ve already bought the ring from a jewelry shop that doesn’t offer a return policy, you can always message them to ask if it’s possible to have this exchanged for a different design OR if you can have the ring altered in any way. For example, if your partner wants a bigger diamond or a simpler design, it might be possible to have the ring re-designed for a small fee.
What if she wants a bigger diamond but I don’t want to spend more?
It’s also possible that your partner feels underwhelmed with the size of the diamond on the ring you purchased. If she wants a bigger diamond and you’re worried about the cost, you have 3 options.
- Get a Lab-grown diamond – These are diamonds that are created in a laboratory. They have the same physical and chemical properties as naturally occurring diamonds but cost up to 50% less.
- Get a Clarity Enhanced diamond – These are natural diamonds that have been treated to remove or fill inclusions that are visible to the naked eye. These diamonds are 30% to 50% cheaper than un-enhanced diamonds.
- Get a Moissanite – A moissanite is a gem that has similar physical properties to diamonds. Moissanites are popular for their affordability compared to diamonds.
These are great options if you don’t want to spend a lot on a diamond replacement, but still want a larger diamond on your engagement ring. You can easily jump up to one or two carats larger than your original engagement ring without worrying too much about the cost of a larger diamond.
You can chat with our diamond experts at Brillianteers to learn more about your options. Just let us know what your budget is for a bigger diamond, and we will help you find the right ring for the right price.
What if I want to find out what ring she wants without her knowing?
This is a common problem with engagement ring shoppers. You want to find out what ring she wants but you also don’t want to reveal that you have a proposal planned. There are a few things that you can do it get your answer in a discrete way.
- Ask her friends or family for help – Her closest friends or family can help you get your answer without her ever knowing you were asking.
- Check her social media pages – Check what ring designs she has shared/liked in the past
- Bring her in a jewelry shop and see what she gravitates towards – This needs to be done discretely. You need to make up an excuse like having your watch cleaned or getting a gift for someone else.
These are just a few ideas that can help you figure out the ring design she wants. These are also a good way for you to find out what her ring size is.
What if I want to make the ring look more expensive without changing the engagement ring?
If you have a simple ring design; a solitaire engagement ring, you can easily have smaller diamonds added to the ring band. This is a relatively inexpensive way of making your ring designs look expensive. You also have the option of adding diamond engagement ring bands to your engagement ring to create a bridal set stack.
Check out our diamond ring band collection:
Conclusion
A marriage proposal may not always be perfect, but at the end of the day, this won’t matter. It’s your future together that will take her breath away, the ring is just the big bonus! With all the different possibilities with engagement ring altering and even affordable diamond alternatives, you’ll eventually find the perfect ring. Just chat with our experts at Brillianteers if you have any further questions about the ring designs.