A Step By Step Guide on How to Propose

As sure and as determined as you are to propose to the love of your life, if you do not have any experience planning events or any particular occasion before, then it’s likely that you wouldn’t know how to propose.  There’s a lot that goes into planning a marriage proposal but it’s good preparation for when you move forward to planning a wedding. Here’s a step by step guide on how to propose and everything you need to do to get it right.

What to do Before Your Big Proposal

To get it all right, you first need a little extra preparation when planning how to propose. These are all the important steps to take before you can pop the big question.

Make Sure You’re Both on the Same Boat

There’s nothing worse than planning an entire proposal, getting the ring, working hard to make everything right for you and your partner, only to find out that they refuse your marriage proposal because they are not ready for it. You might personally be ready to get married, but it’s a good idea to make sure your partner is too before you go ahead and plan the entire proposal.

How to know if your partner’s ready for a proposal?

  • They’ve talked about marriage before – They could have been dropping a hint, or nonchalantly sharing details about a future marriage. It doesn’t matter how they did it. The fact that they mentioned marriage to you means that they consider you as someone who they would marry.
  • They enjoy posting about it on social media – If your partner wasn’t ready for the next big step in your relationship, they would avoid ever mentioning it in any way. If you see that they post about weddings and marriage to share with their family and friends on social media, they are ready.
  • You both know everything there is to know about each other – If you find yourself in a relationship when you realize or learn something new about your partner, but it doesn’t surprise you because you know your partner so well, that it only makes sense that this is something they have done, then you both are in it for the long haul. You both can trust one another. You know your partner so well that nothing scares you anymore.
  • You both can spend long periods of time together without conflict – If you both can live under the same roof for a long period of time, and not have too much conflict or friction, then you both are ready to spend a lifetime together. This simply means you are both well aware of each other’s flaws, have accepted them, and are in a space where you want to avoid conflict as much as possible.
  • You can tell your partner how you feel – Good or bad if you can tell your partner how you feel, even if it means hurting them sometimes, and have an open conversation about this without conflict, then you are in a good and healthy space. This too is a good indication that you both are ready for a bigger commitment.

These are just a few ways for you to know if your partner is ready for the marriage proposal you are planning. It’ll be good to know that you’re both on the same page when it comes to your future. Planning a marriage proposal can either be a blessing or a curse. Knowing if your partner is ready for the big question will guarantee that this proposal will not ruin what you have with the person you love.

Talk to Your Partner’s Parents and Closest Friends

If you know that you are ready for the big step, it’s time to share the big news with your loved ones. Before you go ahead and plan how to propose, you first need to tell your partner’s parents and closest friends. In some families, it’s important to ask for the blessing of your partner’s parents. It may even be a custom they have.

Make it a point that you do this part right. You want to be able to respect possible traditions your partner’s family has, and also have the closest people in their lives involved in such an important decision in your life. It’ll be the best thing you’ll do before the proposal, and you’ll have a good group of people to help you make this all happen.

Buy an Engagement Ring

Once you’ve shared the incredible news with your parents and closest friends, it’s time to get the ring. This is the most important part of the plan on how to propose. You want to be able to give them an experience that’s unforgettable.

A perfect ring can make the entire occasion spectacular. Brillianteers has a great collection of engagement ring designs at different price points. If you don’t know what engagement ring to get your partner, here are a few tips to find the right one.

  • Ask her closest family or friends if they know what she wants
  • Check her social media pages if she has liked or shared specific ring designs
  • Look at her style. Does she like bright, bold colors or does she wear minimal outfits? It’s likely she’ll have the same taste with her ring preference.

Popular Ring Designs to Choose From

Solitaire Engagement RingRound Cut Engagement RingDiamond Engagement Ring

Choose a ring that you know your partner will be smitten to wear for the rest of your lives together. It is the one part of how to propose, that will make it as spectacular as you hope it would be.

Find the Right Date to Propose

You want to make things right, to do things the right way, and this means making sure you choose the right date when you figure out how to propose. You don’t want a time when you know your partner is stressed at work or have multiple obligations that they are committed to. You also don’t want a time when planning a date with them will be an inconvenience. Without them knowing what’s happening, there can be a lot of different ways that your plans get ruined if you pick the wrong date.

Check for a time that you know you can whisk them away for a beautiful night out. This could be for dinner, or on a short trip somewhere, maybe even a day where you both can go camping. Plan how to propose at a time that will not cause any problems for either one of you. If you have to, check their personal calendar or their diary to know what dates you can plan around. Ask friends or colleagues if you have to. Just make sure you do this as discreetly as possible.

Plan How You’ll Propose

With a date in mind, it’s now time to plan the actual proposal. There’s honestly no right or wrong way of doing this. What’s important is that you make this something special for both of you. It doesn’t necessarily have to be grand or excessive as an occasion, but it should be something your partner will never forget. For a little extra inspiration if you do not know what to do, here are some marriage proposal ideas.

Marriage Proposal Ideas:

  • Take them to their favorite restaurant – You want this day to be special and to be all about them, without it seeming like something’s up. Taking them to their most favorite restaurant can do just that.
  • Go out of town – Plan a trip where you are both aiming to relax and just have a good time. This is perfect for couples who love to get out of town for the weekend or go abroad for a new cultural experience. Choose a romantic location to ask the big question.
  • Go back to your very first date – A beautiful yet simple way to make a regular date night that extra bit special for your proposal is by re-creating your very first date together. Do exactly what you did on that first date without telling them. Let them notice this on their own. It’ll be a romantic surprise, with a touch of a marriage proposal to really take their breath away.
  • Plan a party – If you want to have your family and friends involved, it’ll be a great occasion for everyone if you plan a spontaneous party to get everyone together. This could be a barbeque with friends, dinner with your closest loved ones, or even game night. This is a good way to really surprise your partner as a marriage proposal will be the last thing on their mind when they are having a great time with the people you love the most.

These are just a few ways that you can approach the special occasion. You can choose any of these ideas on how to propose, or you can use them as inspiration to make something unique and special for your partner.

If you find yourself stuck on ideas, you can always reach out to your friends and family and ask for their input. Just make it a point that you are all keeping this as discrete as possible. You wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise you are trying so hard to make perfect.

Think About What You Want to Say

You might not want to really think about what you want to say too much before the big proposal, but if you don’t, with all the rush and anticipation of the moment, it’s quite common to freeze at the moment and completely lose any thoughts on what to say.

You should have a good idea of what you want to say. What do you want your partner to know as you ask her to marry you? Write it down. It’ll help you keep a mental note of this. The moment you get down on one knee, take a deep breath, and think about what you planned to say. It’ll make the entire marriage proposal completely magical.

 “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate then when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
– Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

What to do on the Day of Your Proposal

When the big day is finally happening, there are certain things you’ll need to do to guarantee that everything goes as planned and that she is completely surprised, and you accomplish the best marriage proposal you’ve always wanted. This is the ultimate goal when you plan how to propose.

Make Sure Everything You Have Planned is Ready Early on in the Day

It’s time to do a quick follow-up on everything and anything you have planned for the big day. This little added confirmation of everything in the morning of your big proposal will make the biggest difference in everything pans out. It’ll help keep everyone on top of the plan and help you keep all the tasks organized.

Proposal Day Checklist:

  • The Ring – Is it secure in its box? How will you hide it from your partner?
  • The Venue – Is it open? Are people at the venue aware of your plans?
  • The Weather – Check what weather you should prepare for. This will guarantee that it will not get in the way of your big plans.
  • The People Involved – You might have a few people in on the big secret. Pop them a message and make sure you are all on board with the same schedule and plan.
  • Your Partner – It’s easy to forget, but you should check on your partner. Make sure she is feeling okay and up for the moment. It won’t be the best situation if you’re partner’s not feeling well when you ask her to marry you.

Take an hour to contact everyone, confirm everything, and make sure all you have planned is ready for the big surprise. When you plan how to propose, you’ll want it all to go as perfect as you hoped for.

Let the Venue or Anyone Involved Know More About Your Plan

If you’re proposing at a restaurant or at a specific place, it’s good to give the people there a heads up on your plans. It’s not exactly necessary, but it’s just to make sure that nothing goes wrong. This could be at the restaurant or at a specific place you are planning to go to.

Think ahead of time and consider who needs to know of your plans, to guarantee that they do not interrupt your night. This could even be your partner’s colleagues that you know could be calling or emailing them. Make it a point that you have the right people informed of your plans once you have a good idea of how to propose.

Find a Way to Document the Event

If you have something planned, the venue is set, and you’re ready to make it happen, you should also consider having someone document the event. You can either plan ahead and ask someone to do it for you, or you can ask someone randomly when you are actually proposing (a good example is if you’re on a trip and you can ask someone to take your photo for you). Or if you have no choice, you can put up a hidden camera somewhere.

Make it a point that you have everything set up to document the special occasion. It doesn’t have to be perfect. But it should be documented. You’ll regret not doing so once the moment has passed.

girl wearing engagement ring

Final Thoughts on How to Propose

When you have everything planned and ready to go, and you know exactly how to propose, the last thing to do is invite your partner for a casual evening out, a special date night, or even a trip out of town. If you have everything planned, with a beautiful ring in your hand, you can sit back, relax, and sincerely enjoy these special moments with the love of your life. Have a beautiful proposal!